Almost everyone is nervous before their first counselling session. I mean that literally — in years of practice, I can count on one hand the people who’ve walked in fully relaxed. If you’re reading this because you’re thinking about therapy but the unknown of it is putting you off, this is for you: a plain walkthrough of what actually happens, so the first step feels less like a leap.
Before you even book: the free call
With me — and with many therapists — things start before the first session, with a free 15-minute phone call. This isn’t therapy and it isn’t an interview. It’s a chance for you to hear my voice, tell me briefly what’s bringing you, ask anything you like, and get a feel for whether I seem like someone you could talk to.
That last part matters more than people realise. Research consistently shows the relationship between you and your therapist is one of the biggest factors in whether therapy works. So the free call is genuinely a two-way check — and if I don’t feel like the right fit, no offence is taken. Finding the right person is the point.
The first session: what it’s actually like
You arrive — either at the Wokingham Therapy Clinic or on a video call from wherever you’re comfortable. There’s no couch you have to lie on. It’s two people in comfortable chairs (or on a screen), and it looks a lot more like a thoughtful conversation than anything you’ve seen in films.
The first session usually covers a few things, at whatever pace suits you:
A little admin, done gently. I’ll explain how confidentiality works — what stays between us (almost everything) and the rare safety-related exceptions, which I’ll spell out clearly so there are no surprises. We’ll cover practical bits like session times and fees. Five minutes, then it’s done.
Your story, as much as you want to tell. I’ll invite you to share what’s brought you. Some people arrive with a specific thing — anxiety, a loss, something from the past. Others just know something isn’t right and can’t name it yet. Both are completely fine. You don’t need to have it figured out; figuring it out is what the room is for.
No forced depth. You will not be pushed to reveal your deepest wounds in week one. You set the pace. Some people go deep quickly because it pours out; others circle for a few sessions before touching the real thing. There’s no correct speed.
What you’re hoping for. We’ll talk a little about what “better” might look like for you — not to set rigid targets, but so the work has a direction that’s yours, not mine.
What you might feel afterwards
Worth knowing: people often leave a first session feeling lighter — saying things out loud to a neutral person is surprisingly powerful. But it’s also normal to feel tired, a bit raw, or strangely emotional afterwards. You’ve opened a door that may have been closed a long time. Both reactions are okay, and neither predicts how therapy will go.
The questions people are too polite to ask
“Will you think my problem is too small?” No. If it’s affecting your life, it’s big enough. Nobody is wasting my time by not being in crisis.
“What if I cry?” Then you cry, and it will be completely unremarkable to me and completely safe. Tissues are provided and no one has ever been judged for using them.
“What if I don’t know what to say?” Then I’ll help. Silence is allowed too — some of the most important moments in therapy happen in it.
“Do I have to commit to months of sessions?” No. We usually review as we go. Some people come for six sessions, some for much longer. It’s shaped around you.
How to take the first step
If you’ve been circling the idea of counselling for a while, the free call is the lowest-pressure way in — fifteen minutes, no commitment, just a conversation about what you’re looking for.
You can read more about how I work and what counselling with me involves — I’m a BACP-registered psychotherapist working integratively with CBT, attachment theory and a person-centred approach, with sessions from £45. Or if you’re ready, book your free 15-minute call here.
And if you’re still not sure what kind of support fits, the two-minute quiz is a gentle place to start.
This article is for general information. If you need urgent support, call 999, or the Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night.